December, let me say ! campur-aduk feelings ! particularly fear, heart beats so fast, feeling so happy and grateful, suddenly getting high enthusiasm, sometime tough and must keep fighting, yet a feeling like ‘just Allah do the rest’.
I was worried about my first exam in English speaking country. My examinations’ mark in this term. obviously, these will not be involved in final mark, they called it formative exam. it means, these exams just training session for new students to have sense and understand how exam period at UoG. However, I promised, I don’t want to waste every single time happened here. I will do as best as I can. So, even just formative exam, I decided to study hard. Ive tried to utilise all my capacity to get deep understand about every subject that will be examined. I considerably think, I should prepare for final exam start from now !
Okay well, you will see many types of students in your class. First, people who decided to be brave and face all exams whether they have concerned on studying or not, whether they answered seriously or not. Me, congratulation, attended all exams, although so many distractions I had when I was studying !!! for example text messages, social medias, cheese cakes, cooking, novels, or watching movies. fiuh..T_T. Second, people who attended a half of exam period, depend on their favourite subjects. the third, people who was panic in the beginning of exam period, but, unfortunately, they didn’t attend a whole exams. the fourth, people who is prefer to come to their hometown and enjoy holiday whether studying and wasting ur energy just for try out session. it is your choice, nothing to lose.
I also had feeling like “pasrah” in the beginning of my exam period. nope, not because I gave up on studying, but because I felt ‘let it go” when someone tried (again) to talk with my mom to getting married. I don’t know how many efforts we have done. we just try and try again. We don’t know what time is the best for Allah to let us because we are ready for passing every challenges or obstacles on marriage life. we just do not want to give up if we still want to try again. In this day, I really pray with no hard feeling to be granted. i remembered, I pray with no word. and the tears is my prayer. I pray and pray then suddenly my mom said yes ! it is like a dream. and that time, i can’t stop crying. I cried along the day. and I am so grateful. alhamdulillah. However, it is still long journey, all we can do now is keep our ‘niat’ to step into very different life. yes I could be happy, but the other hand, I absolutely should ready for every chances that can be happened. hopefully it is gonna be alright until the right time I can deserve it :).
Setiap keburukan selalu dibalas kebaikan, sudah sepantasnya kita bekerja hanya untuk Allah :’) <3
Alhamdulillah :’). I will remember this day